It was Synchronicity to me that Paulo Coelho posted the topic of Soulmates up for discussion as it has been the very question in my mind to the Universe this past week. Speaking out my feelings on his blog today really helped me get one step closer to my very important truth in my rather difficult relationship.
"My partner knew i was meant to be his when he was 10. I only fell in love with him at 15. We spent 8 years overcoming parental disapproval, cultural gaps and disapproval as he is of Chinese descent and i of Indian descent, distance, and our own continual personal struggles to finally go from falling in love to marriage.
It’s not actually been always easy, but there has always been an unexplainable attraction, a ‘fit’ and feeling of coming home when we are both in the NOW together. But that rarely happens as he has had bipolar disorder for many years now and for a decade it was undiagnosed which means i lived through many betrayals of trust and heartache at his unexplainable and even risky behaviour. But i could never leave..even at his worst, i saw that he needed me even when he couldn’t, and that i was his only lifeline through it. We have 3 little girls and at times, it has seemed that i have put them at risk staying on with him, but i know now that the force driving me to stay with him was more than just my own willpower and fear of being alone. It seemed the divine love of God itself was pushing me on even when the whole world couldn’t make sense of what was happening and on hindsight i know now that indeed, it was.
After diagnosis and ongoing medication, he is finally improving after 10 years of me wondering where he had gone and why the man i fell in love had “left” me. The heartache was excruciating..having someone you love right there next to you but so far away in their heart and love. But lately, i have had times with him again when time stood still and the Universe opened to me. My heart has been searching for many years the reason why our love seems destined to be a struggle to be together, for even though we are married..it is maybe a collective 2-3 weeks at the most in a year when we truly are in each other’s presence, when we ‘fit’. But it is those times that keep me fueled to stay on and keep up the fight for our dream of true love to come true.
Is he my soulmate? I have read now that soulmates are people we feel comfortable with and have an uncanny ability to connect with, a sense of unexplainable familiarity. As in Brida, there can be more than one. Lately, i have met many soulmates and in my case, they are all women. And it has been their friendship that has kept me strong and ‘topped up’ to love my husband better despite the pain he unconsciously causes me due to his illness. So soulmates definitely exist and are so important i feel for us to feel loved enough to grow and to dare to reach for that happiness that is attached to our true purpose of being.
But from my own experience i think now..soulmate is not THE ultimate one for a person, but definitely AN ultimate someone in your life. Sometimes it is even a mother, a father, a sister, a friend, or a stranger you meet on a cafe by the highway for just one evening of your life. Soulmates can be a masculine or feminine. But your TwinFlame will always be the opposite gender as it is the EXACT match to you..and the relationship will be a struggle unless both souls are evolved in the NOW equally.
So is my partner my soulmate? I wonder now if he is not..if he is in fact my TwinFlame. For the connection to him is strong, we are almost telepathic at times without trying, i KNOW when he has had a high-risk episode even when he is in another country and i will be the one who will contact him as he by then will be too wracked with guilt to reach out to me. And when he is present in the Now and well..for that small window in time whenever that happens - he KNOWS me to my core and i see in his eyes my entire purpose of being as if i am staring into the eyes of God himself..so deep is the knowing, and so complete is my soul."
I am still learning..life is about the journey is it not?
Our souls are very childlike and capable of dancing through all sorts of things, interests, and people. It's a matter of us taking ownership of that energy, honing and directing it in in such a way that it becomes sacred ritual. This can be done by speaking in positive affirmations and reinforcing positivity in all one's views and attitudes toward the other.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, the tendency to let our subconscious energies run our lives gets in the way. For many people who are bipolar, their souls are not in their bodies - their souls are floating around, OUTSIDE their bodies, simply attached by a cord of energy. There are many reasons this happens. When it looks like someone has "checked-out" - begin talking with them very gently as if they're a little child. Encourage them to Be Here Now, IN their body.
The more ownership you take over your soul, the better you feel; the healthier you become. The soul is the Inner Child.
When two people come together, the mature approach shines through by each person's desire to support and nurture the other. They may have gone through enough in life to understand the value of reverence. Never presuming anything about the other person, you can revere their process, their history, where they came from, what they bring to this moment here.
And as you write at the end of your blog here, the Inner Child needs rituals, shrines, holy symbols for creating, and for closure on things.
Two people who bring out the best in one other, celebrating their child-like joy together in a responsible way, become the twinning-flame that just keeps growing and growing into something deep.
Words and distance won't make a difference.
What makes a difference in all these potentials is one's attitude. The attitude of a person is one's soul-thoughts being churned from the inside-out.