I wanted a love of a lifetime. It came. With complications. No one said Love is easy, but i never knew it could be this hard. But I promised for better or for worse.. and to believe that whatever challenges we have had to face in life... Love WILL make a way
Friday, October 16, 2009
Limitations
No matter how much of an ocean of love mommy has .. some things in life are just beyond mommy's hands ....
So mommy can only pray and pray and pray...and love you the best you will let me.
Out of frustration towards my bipolar father, my mother beat us and beat us. And she kept beating us... Until one day, at the age of 45, my doctor explained, my mother might be bipolar, too. And that's really the legacy of my family.
Forgiveness... How can I forgive those who refused to get the same sort of help I fought for? Forgiveness for all the shame and guilt that comes with that? You MUST pray. You must open your heart to something greater, some force that is by far more vast than just being in a body.
When they say it takes a village to raise a child, it's true. So when I was 47, I went inside myself and reclaimed that child as my soul.
I surrounded myself with a network of friends and resources to mend my soul. It was a matter of life or death. Keep Choosing Life. Keep Choosing to Feel Good. Keep Choosing your feelings of feeling good, of self-worth. Keep praying; keep your face towards the light.
I can relate to this..i lived with someone who also lashed out physically when in frustration.. the worst is the legacy of that creeping upon my own children.. it becomes a conscious fight against it becoming a silent repeating pattern..even in them
Out of frustration towards my bipolar father, my mother beat us and beat us. And she kept beating us... Until one day, at the age of 45, my doctor explained, my mother might be bipolar, too. And that's really the legacy of my family.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness... How can I forgive those who refused to get the same sort of help I fought for? Forgiveness for all the shame and guilt that comes with that? You MUST pray. You must open your heart to something greater, some force that is by far more vast than just being in a body.
When they say it takes a village to raise a child, it's true. So when I was 47, I went inside myself and reclaimed that child as my soul.
I surrounded myself with a network of friends and resources to mend my soul. It was a matter of life or death. Keep Choosing Life. Keep Choosing to Feel Good. Keep Choosing your feelings of feeling good, of self-worth. Keep praying; keep your face towards the light.
I can relate to this..i lived with someone who also lashed out physically when in frustration..
ReplyDeletethe worst is the legacy of that creeping upon my own children..
it becomes a conscious fight against it becoming a silent repeating pattern..even in them