i think those times when people feel guilt for something negative they cannot control..it is actually them grieving, but being unable to let go of the fact that they did not have control (much like a parent whose child inherits an illness)
for those time when people feel guilt for something seemingly 'inconsequential', it is them straining against the values they have been taught to adopt but are actually a mismatch to thier true essence.
as for those who feel genuine guilt over something that was done poorly, it is a regret, a wish within themselves to have done better.
in all cases, guilt is a SIGNAL..a type of gauge for our inner self love tank.. when we have guilt, we know we need to do some re-alignment within..whether it is to accept a truth we have been avoiding, or to evolve and sift out what is our true values that match who we truly are, or to take steps to forgive ourselves and move forward to a better today and tomorrow.
it is when i avoid guilt, and label it as a bad thing that problems arise. in fact, many of life's issues arise from a DUALITY VIEW of good and bad. when i reframe what has happened into what works/doesn't work or positive/negative and leave emotional judgements out of the picture..i can usually see better how that guilt can actually work for me, to help me re-align with where and who i really need to be..
One of my teachers used to say - "guilt means we don't think we have to grow." It is really a posturing of victim mentality. Sure, we all make mistakes and screw-up. These are the times to re-wind, review, re-think, and re-cap our decisions and actions.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm not liking something and have done everything I can to inquire into it, and it's not changing? That means I'm the one who needs to change! ; )
i like that.."guilt means we don't think we have to grow"
ReplyDeleteit IS the starting point of victim posturing..
a kind of "help me...i can't help myself.." monologue that becomes an anthem